After being saved back in 1987 I began to have some hard times, which were not hard at all if I were spiritually fit.  You see I began to look at worldly things as a fix instead of building a closer relationship with my Creator, my Lord, and my God who will "Solve All My Problems".  Yes, I had some screwed up thinking.  I began to believe more in myself then in the saving grace and power of Jesus Christ or even the wisdom of God.  I started to think that self could heal self, some how “ I ” could think of a way to feel better. Maybe that vacation or that special trip would help.  Maybe a little extra money or that special gift to my self would make thing better.  How about doing an upgrade on my bike or going on a long ride. One of these would get my head straight. But to find out it was all like placing a bandage on a cut artery. I was still dying, bleeding all over the place.

I give thanks to God that He had allowed me a spiritual slip, and the ability to feel all it’s devastation as I seen what my own choices brought to my life; and the importance of God’s wisdom when living life. The wisdom of a Father to his child just like in the story of the teenage girl in the back seat of the boyfriends car.  The father of that girl could say, “I never want to catch you in the back seat of a boy’s car.” Or he could tell her when you end up in the back seat of a boy’s car you will have a choice to make.  This is how you will feel from that choice. Then he will describe both sides of that choice.  I never turned to my Heavenly Father for that wisdom and spent six months of placing a worldly bandage on my life.  From that I reached a point of wanting to dye.  Suicide became an option. People that knew me feared for my life. Finally I began to rebuild my relationship with God, seeking His word and in two weeks I began to feel more and more His Holy Spirit in my life.  Having that relationship with God through Jesus Christ all my problem are being solved without me doing anything. Because my problem is not the predicament but the way I view the predicament. 

As it always does in life, along came another predicament. This time I didn’t even try to do it on my own. I turned towards the wisdom of God, the love of Jesus and the Power of the Holy Spirit, because of that I was so blessed.

My dad was a very loving man and I know that he really loved me very much. He was also a very good supplier to the family. Being a good supplier he worked very hard, having 2 or 3 jobs all at the same time and I didn’t get to see much of him in my younger days when I was living at home. I always missed those special times that most children have with their fathers. But the Lord made everything right before my father went home. On August 10, 1995 my father had been hospitalized with Cancer of the lungs. When he went into the hospital the doctors gave him only 2 to 3 weeks to live. I know the Lord had much longer plans. My father was in the hospital for more then 4 months without the use of any type of life supporting equipment. In those four months I was able to spend every night with him and we talked about everything and anything we could. All our selfishness, self-centeredness, pride, ego and fears were set aside and the Lord just touched our long talks. There was nothing left that I could have ever wished I would have said to my dad before he went home. Then the Lord touched our relationship again. I promised my dad I would be there with him when the time came to take the journey home to the Kingdom of God. The Lord is forever faithful. December 27 about 5:10am my dad’s breathing began to slow and then it came to a stop as I held him in my arms.  I placed my hand on his chest and could still feel his heart beating. I said into his ear, I love you Daddy and just as I finished saying it his heart stopped. I know my dad heard those last words of mine. Oh, how I thank the Lord for his faithfulness. The hospital was very nice and allowed me to stay with him until about 7:00am, giving me time to pray and hold my dad.

Through the “wisdom and love” of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit I have learned the meaning of  “JOY” and what it means to be maximum service to God and others around me. Yet, that bike of mine, 45,000 miles in two years and it’s been about “ME” until now, when through God’s wisdom shown to me through His word and the love of Jesus that pours out from His people like my club sponsor, Drifter (who also rides) is allowing me to prospect with the Philadelphia chapter of The Sons of God MC. Thanks to Drifter and the Philadelphia chapter of The Sons of God MC, that Bike of mine could now be about Him and not me.

Grace and Peace,  Sasquatch